读后续写画面感描写-省三等奖

花杀百:
When I saw the weep of girl，my heart has a little sadness . Because her cheeks was burning and lips trembled.With the tears fall down on her face .then,she head dropped and body trembled.suddently,the sound of her crying echoed.She screamed very loudly!In the bitter wind.She seemed a little tiny and helpless.

【回复】可以帮忙看看有没有什么语法错误吗？衔接这块我感觉也蛮有问题的，[打call][打call]谢谢大家
纪源-:
没想到这短短8分钟这么干货 比学校老师讲100节课都有用

万千之变:
Why can't you be a hit?That's because you spend much time in describing this phenomenon，not in how to reach the standard